Deprivation
by ScreamingInsanity
Summary: Crash landed on an island, Charlie must learn to live without drugs, to care for a small child, and to find love. SLASH (Possible MUTI-PAIRING)
1. Prolouge

**A/N:** This is my first time writing something other than LotR. I really hope you like this. It is slash, but I put Lexi in, because I want to envision how my niece would survive. IT made me kind of scared to know of how scared she would be to lose everything.

**PLEASE READ!**

**Warnings:** AU(sort of), SLASH, drug deprivation, death

**Disclaimer:** I really don't know who owns these people, but it sure ain't me.

**Pairing(s):** Sayid/Charlie, (maybe, let me know what you want) Jack/Sawyer

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The air smelled of transmission fluid, smoke billowed into the air, and the only sounds were whispers and quiet sobbing. A little girl sat quietly in the sand. Her dress and jeans almost completely covered. Her long, dark brown hair hung loosely. All the noise around her made her head hurt. All she wanted was for her papa to return.

"They've uncovered another body," Jack said as he grabbed hold of Lexi's hand. Lexi was annoyed. She didn't know why she had to see people from the crash who didn't survive. She was waiting for her papa, and couldn't go somewhere where he couldn't find her.

When they got to the area where the bodies where being laid, Lexi's eyes looked at each one mournfully. The newest addition was one of the most gruesome. His mouth was opened in a silent scream. A pipe had gone through his neck.

Lexi whimpered, and tried to free her hand, but Jack's grip was too strong. "Papa!" She felt her knees give out, and she was lifted up. She buried her face into Jack's neck and cried.

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Lexi sat in the sand, her feet buried. She stared hauntingly out at the water. Her green eyes were blood shot. Charlie sat next to her. Making sure she wouldn't cave in. His heart went out to the four year old orphan.

The sky was colored red and orange with the setting sun. About an hour ago they had salvaged everybody they could find. Everyone was settling down the best they could, and finding places to sleep. Charlie and Lexi still sat on the beach. Charlie silently observed that the tide had begun to come in, and hoped that Lexi wasn't planning on staying too long.

When he looked over at the girl, he noticed that she had fallen asleep. He stood, and lifted the girl up. He moved further up the beach towards the others. He laid her down near Claire and the fire. Claire spared him a glance, and fell back asleep. Charlie looked at them guiltily, and headed towards the tree line. He barely searched for anyone looking, before he hid behind a tree.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a little baggy full of pills. He was about to reach in when he felt some one grab hold of his arm. Startled, he dropped the bag and spilt most of the pills. He would have dove to rescue them if the hand wasn't keeping him from doing so.

He noticed that the hand was darker then his own. He followed the arm up to the person's face to find a stern, disapproving expression. The grip on his arm tightened, and Charlie stared at him confused. Sayid spun him so he was facing him completely. "What do you think you are doing!"

"Nothing." Charlie looked down at the ground. He felt himself begin to sweat slightly. There was a completely non-medical reason why he needed those pills. He vaguely thought he saw half of one laying between his feet. He knew that Sayid knew what he was doing. He just didn't know why he cared. As long as the help was stable, why would anyone care.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." Sayid stared into Charlie's blue eyes and felt pity for the stress found there. "I won't leave you to do this to yourself."

Charlie saw the pity in Sayid's eyes, and felt ashamed of himself. He stared, once more at the pill on the ground, and pulled himself from the other's hold. "I don't need your bloody help or pity, alright?"

"But, you do, Charlie. Can't you see that?" Sayid willed Charlie to stay with his eyes. Looking into the troubled orbs, he knew Charlie wanted to stop. He knew that Charlie had regrets. He knew there was no going back to the past to fix the wrongs done. He knew he could never go back to save her.

Charlie stared at Sayid almost menacingly. "Why do you care?" He shouted, "Why do you bloody care? I'm stable this way! I'm better off this way!"

"Are you, Charlie? Is the fantasy really better that reality? In reality you have emotion and memory. In your drug induced illusion, you feel one thing and remember one thing, nothing." Sayid gazed calmly at Charlie, and became surprised at the tears upon the Brit's face.

"If you feel nothing, you can't get hurt."

-tbc-

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**A/N:** I really hope you like that. I've been a little depressed. Am I the only one who thinks Valentine's Day is depressing? Plus, all I did this Valentine's Day was think about how sweet my ex-boyfriend was. Love sucks.

**Anyway….Please review. If I get at least 5 I will give you more.**


	2. Revelations

**A/N: Wow, sorry for taking so long. My muses have left me. Wahhh. But, I see that they are back. Maybe this week will be better and I can get up a third. Anyway this chapter is Charlie's POV at first and then Sayid's POV. Hope you enjoy. It's not as long as I would have liked though.**

**A/N2:I would also like you guys to vote on a pairing. These are what I would like to be options but I will take suggestions:  
Locke/Boone  
Jack/Boone  
Locke/Charlie?  
Locke/Charlie/Boone?**

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They had been here for half a month. If not, it had felt like _four _weeks to Charlie. It has been awhile since Loch played his little mind game, that what Charlie reckoned it was anyway, and he had foolishly thrown his stash in the fire. Now he wasstill slighty dealing with theeffects of drug deprivation. He felt cold inside, but he continued to sweat like a water fall. His hands felt clammy. And he continuously felt dizzy and tired.

Surprisingly, the only reprieve from these symptoms came from Sayid. At night, when Charlie couldn't sleep, he found himself talking to Sayid about their pasts. He told him about Drive Shaft. The fight with his best mate. The lead up to drug abuse.

He would ask Sayid about his past. Sometimes Sayid would get quiet. Sometimes he would hint at things. One night he eventually told Charlie about a girl who he held as a prisoner. About how she died.

Sometimes, Charlie would wake up to discover that he had fallen asleep on top of the other man. He'd lay there blushing. Marveling about how right it felt, but at how wrong it was. This went against the catholic church. But, then, when has he ever listened to the church's teachings. He's gone against so many of god's laws that he's begun to loose count.

He would sit up, and act as if nothing has happened, and wake Sayid up for another day of beach and jungle. Sayid would never know what he had been thinking. Sayid wouldn't think him a freak who was better off on the damn pills anyway. Sayid wouldn't leave Charlie, and then Charlie could imagine that things were different. That Sayid felt more then pity for him.

Another companion he felt utter trust in was Lexi. The small girl trusted almost no one else. She felt Jack, Locke, and Sayid as authority figures. He didn't understand why she insisted on following him. He also found out that she shied away from the others. Especially Sawyer. But, he figured if he was a five year old kid, he'd find Sawyer only second to the devil himself, with his permanent scowl.

On observing the other's on the islandwhich is what he felt was the only thing he was good forhe noticed that he might not be the only 'poofter' on the island. He would catch secret looks between two of the islanders. He knew neither of them knew that the other was looking and watching. That they were looking for some sort of sign. He knew all these looks very well himself from himself. He waited for the plane, because the plane would relieve his heartache.

The object of his affections lay sleeping beside him like most mornings. He hadn't the heart to wake him. He knew that after his exertion through the jungle Sayid had been having nightmares. He'd call out in his sleep, but it would be too faint for Charlie to understand. It also seemed that after Charlie had been returned from Steve's capture, Sayid's dreams had been more vivid and restless. He thought maybe the experience had triggered Sayid's own experiences in the jungle. Or maybe it was something more…maybe.

* * *

Sayid lays perfectly still, his breathing even. He knows Charlie is watching him once again. He doesn't know exactly what to say to that. He doesn't know what he's expected to do about it. He doesn't quit know what it is he feels for Charlie. He doesn't know why he was drawn to the ex-guitarist. He saw a man hurting and confused, but they all were weren't they? Maybe, some more than others. Maybe companion ship. Sayid finds Charlie someone easy to talk to. Someone who doesn't push others to talk, but doesn't interrupt when spoken to.

He lays there listlessly. Unwilling to interrupt the serene atmosphere that surrounds them both in there own section of the encampment. He could feel the dampness of predawn. Just about the time the camp comes alive. It's warm. It must have been during the night for he knows he's kicked his airplane blanket off while sleeping. The blanket smelled of ash and soot and fire, _and just a hint of Charlie._

He can't believe he just thought that. He can't believe what thoughts have been running through his head. Remembering the feeling of waking in the middle of the night to the feel of silky blonde-brown hair tickling his collar bone, warm breathe seeping into his thin, green shirt, the pounding heart beating next to his own.

Sayid was startled out of his reverie by a pair of soft skin and rough bandages that voiced the owner's distress. He looked within the hypnotizing, blue eyes and wondered, _Could this be love?_

_

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**A/N3: So, let's hear those votes please! Also, I am proud to mention that I will no longer be 'holding my story for ransom'.**

**Thank You!**


	3. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

OK So far we have:

Jack/Sawyer

Locke/Boone

Locke/Boone/ Charlie

I shall do my best to make an appearance with Jack/Sawyer. I might need suggestions on how they admit their attraction/love for each other. Next chapter will be a Locke/Boone chapter.

I also know that Boone is dead…but I am in denial, so a surprise will be in store for your readers! It'll take a little time. I'm still deciding how far I want this to go. I already have a sequel planned. That means I know how I want this to end. Unless, that is, if anyone else has any requests.

Thank You!

ScreaminInsanity


	4. Water Logged Pt1

**A/N: Well, it's finally here. I appreciate the cussing, it lightened my mood, Lol. So, this is a little teaser I guess you can say. My Locke/Boone chapter. It should continue, but if not next will be Jack/Sawyer as is by request.**

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They had been hunting for about five hours, or so Boone's watch proclaimed, when they came upon this fresh water pond. It was Locke's idea to stop for awhile, and they might even find boar, or other edible wildlife, wandering towards the area. But, even Boone knew, that they probably wouldn't come near with the scent of human drifting in the same direction the scent of water was going. It was a nice respite, anyhow, and Boone leant his head against the tree he was sitting against, enjoying the dampening air that surrounded the pond.

The pond was tempting in the humid, sticky jungle. He wasn't surprised when he heard the splash of Locke diving into the water. He watched the water ripple where Locke must have entered the water through, then he resurfaced a foot or so away from that spot. Boone smirked at the awe on the other man's face. He didn't know the source of Locke's fascination, but he couldn't deny that that look made him admire the man even more.

Boone couldn't tell what it was that drew him to John Locke, but he didn't care. He never told anyone about his feelings for Locke. Shannon would only 'lecture' him, and remind him about his last boyfriend. A subject he would rather never mention to anyone ever again. Besides, he couldn't blow the closeness he had now by taking a chance.

The two men locked gazes, and Locke motioned Boone to join him in the refreshing water. Boone stood, and stripped to his boxers. He walked to the rock ledge, and dove into the fresh water. He resurfaced next to Locke, and floated calmly so the water came to his chin. Locke advanced with a mischievous smile, but Boone backed aware with the same smile upon his face. Boone, ever flexible, pushed out of the water, flipped backwards, and swam away.

Boone resurfaced with a smug look on his face, but it was swiftly wiped away when he found no sign of Locke. "John?" He called out. He nearly screamed when he felt a body behind him. Soon, he found himself thrown through the air, and back into the water. Not prepared, Boone swallowed a fair amount of water.

When he resurfaced once more, it was to the sound of his own sputtering and John's laughter. Boone didn't find it as funny. His chest and throat were soar, and his stomach felt as if it was weighed down by many small rocks. All factors making him sluggish, and he tiredly glared at the mirthful man a few feet away.

Locke's face softened, and he swam up to Boone. He placed his hands on both sides of Boone's waist. Boone blushed, and placed his hands upon Locke's shoulders as if he was learning how to swim for the first time. He was pushed forward into the body in front of him, and that was the first time he noticed that Locke was completely naked. He felt the gentle caress of the water on his sides, the heat of the fingers on his hips, and the blush on his cheek bones.

Finally, they came to that rock ledge that was almost fire hot from the sun, Boone regretfully moved his hands from Locke's shoulders to the ledge, and pulled himself up. Heaving a sigh, he laid back with his feet still in the water, closed his eyes, and relaxed his muscles. Boone heard and felt Locke push up out of the water beside him. He felt Locke's gaze on his face, but did not open his eyes for fear of ruining the moment.

The sun's heat was no longer on his face. Something was blocking it, but Boone kept his eye shut. He felt breathe on his lips, a hand running up and down his arm. Then, a pair of rough, moist lips descended upon his mouth. Boone sighed and smiled into the kiss that he returned. It was explorative and slow.

Locke finally pulled back, and frowned down at the still closed eyes. He moved his arm to caress the side of Boone's face, his fingers twitching in anticipation. "Why don't you open your eyes, Boone?"

Boone furrowed his brow. He answered softly, "I've been through this before. I'll open my eyes, and be back at the caves. I'll open my eyes, and…you won't be there anymore. Just like every other time."

"Does this seem like every other time to you?" Locke grinned mischievously. He skimmed his hand lightly down the soft skin at Boone's neck. Ghosted the tips of his fingers across a smooth chest, over peaked nipples. A chuckle from Boone as they tickled down his stomach until they reached the elastic barrier that was the waistband to a damp pair of boxers.

Locke looked up into the peaceful face to find a pair of brilliant blue eyes staring back at him…

tbc--

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**A/N: Please leave reviews.**


	5. Water Logged Pt2

**A/N: Yeah, I know it takes me two freakin' months to get a chapter up, but isn't worth it? Isn't it? **

**Well, ok, here it is. The reason I have rated it 'M'. It was requested. If it hadn't have been I probably would have had my first sex scene as Sayid/Charlie. So blame gurlnextdoor1214 for ruining my plans. J/K. So, umm, here it is and if you don't want to read anything too racie or your under age and your mommy's watching, I would recommend not reading this. **

**Also, this is my first ever sex scene, so let me know if I should change anything about the way I write it.**

* * *

Boone reached up and traced the lines of Locke's face with his finger-tips. Lines, wrinkles, the scar over his eye. The luck of it still being there. Boone wanted to know all of this man that leant over him. Inside and out. This fascinating man that reminded him of a hired gun, but actually worked for a box company.

Locke grasped Boone's hand, and brought it to his mouth and kissed it. Then, he pulled Boone up, and pulled him into an embrace. Boone kissed along Locke's neck, up his jaw, back to his lips. Locke kissed back chastely.

Boone deepened the kiss, greatly relieved that he wouldn't have to struggle to portray false feelings. He thought his heart had been dying under his lie, but now it was as if it was reborn again. Locke found that Boone kissed like he was doing it for the first time. As if he wasn't quiet sure what he was supposed to do. It didn't really matter to him, because he loved Boone, far past the kissing.

With their chests pressed together, Locke fell in love with the feeling of Boone's heart pounding against his own. They, regretfully, pulled back to breath. Panting, Locke caught Boone's face between his hands, and looked into the love filled orbs. He couldn't believe he had the love of this beautiful person. Love seemed to be something that had eluded him for so many years. Locke thought that, now the island had lost some of it's fierceness.

"John?"

Locke was shaken out of thought with a smile. He let his hands trail down Boone's body. When he touched a certain spot on the Boone's side, he felt the other body tremble, and a chuckle escaped the young man. Locke smiled, and grazed his fingers lightly down Boone's side eliciting a stream of uncontrollable giggles. Boone reached up and grabbed a hold of Locke's hands to still them as he caught his breath.

Boone trail kisses and licks from Locke's neck, down his chest, past his navel. Boone looked up into the heated gaze, and he teasingly licked the head of Locke's erection. Hands grasped his hair, moved him closer, and he obligingly put the tip of it in his mouth and sucked.

Boone engulfed Locke's penis completely. Locke's shaft sliding into the hot, moist cavern of Boone's mouth. Boone bobbed his head. Sucking. Licking. Locke moaned and trembled above him.

"God!"

When Locke felt Boone's hand massaging his balls, he knew he wouldn't last much longer. He pulled Boone up for a kiss. Leaning forward, Locke pushed Boone down underneath him. Pulling down the last article of clothing keeping him from seeing this beauty completely.

Boone lifted his hips, and moved his legs to help disentangle himself from the still dampened cotton cloth. Heat rose to his face when he realized that he was now laid bare for the other man. Boone always felt scrawny growing up smaller, thinner, than most of the other children. Stranded on this island with people like Locke, Jack, and Sawyer definitely brought him back.

These thoughts were dispersed, however, when Locke ran a hand up Boone's inner thigh almost reverently. Ghosting his fingers across the ticklish flesh, causing Boone to squirm. What caused Boone to squirm even more was when Locke moved his hand up past the juncture where leg met hip-bone. Locke grasped Boones cock, and started to pump him slowly.

Boone's eyes widened, and he tilted his head back in ecstasy. He thought vaguely about how he didn't remember anything ever feeling this good, or his body feeling so sensitive. He felt his toes reflexively curl on each upward stroke. Boone couldn't lay still anymore, and he bucked up into the hand surrounding him, demanding more. He desperately wanted, desired, needed the friction. Knew he was trapped in his own trust and love of the man above him. Knew he would do anything the man asked of him under the lustful haze.

Locke, desperate to touch Boone in more intimate ways, sped up his movements until Boone was writhing and gasping on the ground in front of him. Boone was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Eyes squeezed shut, mouth wide, loud shuddering moans issuing from his throat. Boone's mouth closed, and he swallowed the collection of saliva. His tongue came out to lick dry lips.

Boone was close. Boone knew he was close. He could feel the tension building in the lower part of his stomach. The tightening of his balls. And then suddenly he felt like he was exploding through his cock.

Boone was even more magnificent, in Locke's eyes, when he came. His eyes shot wide open. Shimmering, blue eyes darkened and clouded in lust and release. His mouth open in an impassioned moan. Locke gathered Boone's essence and moved his hand to Boone's puckered opening. He inserted a single digit. Boone watched him with half-lidded eyes. The sensations Locke sent through his body was like the continuous waves of the ocean.

Locke inserted a second finger, and started scissoring the hot, tight channel loose. He watched Boone's chest rise and fall as he breathed. Watched Boone's nipples tighten, and his cock stir back to life. Locke thrust in a third finger. He leant forward as he removed his hand, and smeared the remaining, cooling semen on Boones stomach and his own pre-cum onto his erection.

Boone lifted his head off the ground to lock his lips once again with Locke's. He felt the tip of Locke's dick push pass the stretched guardian muscles. As Locke pushed all the way in, Boone raised his arms and clutched onto Locke's shoulders.

Locke moved slowly at first, soaking in all the sensations provoked in him. But then he couldn't hold back anymore. The feeling of the tight muscles clenching around him sent him into a frenzy, and his thrusts started to quicken until he was practically pounding into the body below him. Boone's moans had started to turn into loud gaspings of air until he was keening. Suddenly, Boone erupted between them. Locke groaned and came deep inside Boone.

Panting, Locke looked down onto the serene face below him. Boone looked up at Locke, and felt heat creep up from his collar bone to his cheeks. Locke pulled out of Boone, and laid down beside him. He reached out and stroked Boone's cheek-bones. "Do you regret anything, Boone?"

Boone looked over into Locke's eyes. He shook his head. "Only that we hadn't done this sooner."

Chuckling, Locke lent over and kissed Boone lazily. Boone slowlypulled back. Their lips sliding apartwith a wet sound, "John,…I-"

"I know, Boone. I love you too."

tbc---

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**A/N: So...how was it? You know you want to tell me. I swear if I don't get any reviews like last time, besides Gaeriel Palpatine and gurlnextdoor1214 who are the keepers of my immortal gratitude, there will won't be any more scenes like this and I will drop the rating to PG-13. so >:(**


	6. Standing Up For Everything

**A/N: I would like to thank everyone for the awesome reviews. Keep them up. Remember, reviews is what keeps my stories going. Next chapter we'll have a PWP, just because I havn't had a certain pairing in yet.**

**Here's the next installment.**

**Also, I will be away for a bit.**

* * *

Title: Deprivation  
Warning: Slash  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Sayid/Charlie, Locke/Boone, Sawyer/Jack

* * *

Sayid sat under a tarpaulin shelter trying to salvage the remaining parts of the smashed transceiver. He had been working on it for so long now, but every new direction seemed to lead to a dead end. Whoever had smashed it had either messed with the wires or removed some of them all together.

Reminiscing, Sayid pondered about Charlie. He hadn't talked to Charlie since his return. Afraid of loosing what they had built, and not knowing what to say to comfort the distressed man. Sayid hadn't seen Lexi either, since the return of Claire. It was unnerving, thinking about the other people on the island. Hostile people.

Sayid was surprised to see the four year old running up the beach towards him. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, and her feet slipped in the sand. She fell to her knees in front of him, and took three deep breaths to try to calm herself to be coherent. Sayid put his work aside while the girl babbled in what was obviously German, her native language. He pulled her into his lap, and dried her face with a piece of cloth he kept in his back pocket. "Now, Lexi," Sayid said calmly. Keeping his word distinguish able to the little German girl. "What has you bothered?"

"Why is Charlie angry?" Lexi stutters out. Her face was a veil of misery and confusion. Sayid couldn't stand seeing the girl like this.

"Charlie," He started. "Charlie isn't feeling well right now, Lexi. We must give him time to recover." Lexi nodded, and rested her head on Sayid's shoulder. Sayid sighed, and resigned himself to not getting anything else accomplished until Locke and Boone came back. Boone, having lived in Germany for 7 years, had volunteered himself to teach the girl English, and to anyone who wanted to learn, he taught German.

Lexi had fallen asleep. Placing her next to him on the sand, Sayid was preparing to start his examination of the transceiver again. Someone else had, now, decided to interrupt him for the day, and he looked over to see a very concerned Hurley. "Sayid, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," He answered simply.

Hurley hesitated. "Did you ever get that Gulf War syndrome?"

Sayid shook his head. He was very patient with the other people on the island that were ignorant of his nationality, or just racist. "That was the other side."

"Oh, right." He sat thinking. Trying to come up with the words he wanted, but failed. "Then, what's the one when you're all, like, shell-shocked?"

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

"Yeah, that's it." Hurley said with false cheer. "You ever have that?"

Now it was Sayid's turn to be confused. "Why do you ask?"

The next three words caused Sayid's world to freeze. His heart to constrict in his chest. "Because, I'm worried about Charlie."

Charlie. Charlie. Quiet Charlie. No longer cheerful, stressed, moody Charlie. "What's wrong with Charlie?"

"I mean, he killed a guy. He shot him in the chest four times." Hurley eyes sought his out beseechingly. He didn't want to loose the only one on the island that treated him with total respect and friendship. "Maybe, you should talk to him."

Now, here Sayid found himself. Having left Lexi with Boone, who had come back early, he stood in front of the man he had been looking for. Charlie was fervently trying to open a coconut by smashing the skin on a rock. Sayid smiled. He tried to joke the way they used to. Easily, and without hesitation. "You're developing quite a talent."

"Yeah," Charlie replied. The, he glanced up at Sayid. His eyes were different now to Sayid. They didn't hold as much warmth as they used to. Now, overflowing with immense pain. "You're here to check up on me."

Of course, Charlie knew why he was here. "You killed a man." He stated bluntly, not knowing what else to say. All he could think about was removing the pain in those beautiful blue eyes.

Charlie's eyes blazed with hatred as he sent an intense glare to the man he used to call his friend. This wasn't like Charlie. "A man who killed one of us, who kidnapped Claire, who strung me up and left me for dead!" His voice suddenly grew cold, and eerily calm. "He deserved to die. I'd do it again in a minute. Pardon me if I'm fresh out of bad feeling."

Sayid looked upon the pained man in front of him, the man he loved, with worry. "When I was in the army in Tikrit, in Iraq, the man who lived next door was a policeman." Charlie didn't know why he was telling him this. "One day his car was rigged with a bomb. It killed his wife and three young children instead. They caught the man who did it. I volunteered to be on the firing squad, and I did my duty without a single ounce of remorse." His voice caught slightly, and he closed his eyes to ward off the sun when he felt too cold to withstand it's blistering heat. "Then, for no reason, I found myself waking up at night, replaying what I did."

"It looks like you're the one who needs checking up on," Charlie said without any humor.

Sayid felt half way to punching the Brit squarely in the jaw. " All I'm saying is that what happened with Ethan will be with you for the rest of your life."

"Any suggestions?"

"Your not alone." Sayid said sadly. "Don't pretend to be."

Sayid turned to go, but then he hears Charlie take a stuttering breath. "Then, why does it feel as if the only person I've missed with all of me these past days is miles away?"

Sayid was glad that Charlie couldn't see the weariness in his face. The regret. "I'm sure Claire is more than ready to talk. She's been --"

"Damn it, Sayid! I was talking about you!" Charlie's eyes stayed glued onto Sayid's back. Willing the him to move, to say something, anything, but he remained silent and unmoving. "God, Sayid. Just say something already."

He could hear the brokenness in Charlie's statement. Could practically see the tears clouding his voice. "Shout. Rant. Punch me for Christ's sake. Anything's better than this blood awful silence."

Before Charlie could get anymore useless thoughts stuck in his head, Sayid whirled, and slid down before the distraught bassist. Charlie flinched back when Sayid grabbed a hold of his face, but he didn't pull back. Pulling him into a heartfelt kiss, Sayid wanted to portray everything he felt since he met the young man: Protectiveness, pride, joy, heartache, longing. Above all else was love. He didn't want it to end, but then Charlie was sobbing, and he was sure neither of them could breathe, so he broke the kiss to pull Charlie into his arms.

"Your not alone. Not anymore."

* * *

Boone loved it when he could head to the beach early. When the hunt for the day was over quickly, and there was nothing left to do but to skin and clean the carcass. He didn't know how to do it, and also knew that they couldn't risk the meat being spoiled by him trying to learn since most of the wildlife had started to migrate away from them.

Everyday, after making sure there was enough food, he would search out Lexi, who was usually at the beach with Sayid, and help her learn English. He was fluent if not a little rusty in German, and hated to see the young girl struggle to tell anyone what she needed or wanted.

Lexi was quiet. Boone wondered if that was not contributed by the death of her father. Sometimes, Boone would awake from the sound of her crying, or talking. She prayed. To God. To her father. Sometimes he heard her say the name Tobias. He could only assume that he wasn't on the plane. Or the body was lost, but he didn't want to think about how one day they might stumble upon dead bodies somewhere out in the jungle. Boone decided to add that to the list of soon to come nightmares. The story of his life.

Boone also taught those who wanted basic German so they could communicate with the girl when she couldn't remember the word needed, or to just provide familiarity. So far Jack, Kate, Claire, Sayid, Locke, and previously Charlie had come aboard for the lessons.

Finally, He spotted Lexi sleeping in the shade next to Sayid, who was talking to Hurley. Before he knew what was happening, he was sitting where Sayid had once been while him and Hurley ran off. To say he was confused would be the biggest understatement of the century. He hoped it had something to do with Charlie. He didn't have anything against Charlie, and really hoped that the ex-rocker would make a full recovery.

Boone didn't feel like moving the girl, but he was a little too restless to stay sitting still. He stood and stared at the surf as it seemed to crash into the island. Boone loved children. He always wanted to have children someday, but resigned himself to the fact that, because of his sexual preferences, he'll never be able to have any of his own. As far as he knew, adoption was still not an option to couples in his situation. Being attracted to males since he'd hit puberty, he felt opportunities slip past him everyday. That didn't mean he regret the ones he had been able to grasp. He didn't regret the plane crashing, or finding John. But…he was a little afraid of never being found.

He knew that he would never go back to the life style he had once regretfully inhabited. Holding no qualms about leaving his mother alone, Boone hoped to continue what he had with Locke if they would get rescued. Boone's mother had always turned a blind eye to the struggles he had faced growing up. She was always so focused on business instead of family. The bruises weren't there, nor were the cuts and welts and the tears, that had started to appear since she remarried when Boone was ten, were all invisible to her naïve portrayals. Tired of people telling him what to do, Boone was willing to give up his past, and start over.

The sun was slowly setting. The kind of sunset that takes hours to completely commence. This usually signaled the people back to finish their tasks, and return to their shelters, whether it be on the beach or at the caves. Still standing on the beach, watching the people walk past him, he thought about how well people were adjusting to the new lifestyle. Out of necessity, yes, but well none the less. Another thing he couldn't help but notice was how people seemed to be 'pairing off' in a way. The island seemed to be the best place to meet your other half.

There was a sound of a foot fall behind him. He didn't give it much thought, thinking it was either Sayid or Locke. He wasn't prepared to see who was standing in front of him.

"Haven't seen you on the beach for awhile." Shannon stood in front of him, her arms crossed in front of her. Intimidating or insecure, he didn't know. Boone could have sworn he saw a faint trace of weariness in her eyes, but was quickly covered up by a mask of smugness as she laid eyes on Lexi.

"There isn't much the coast can offer us anymore." He answered simply. Boone studied her, trying to figure out what her ulterior motive was.

"Or is it that your having too much fun playing 'Cave' with our resident woodsman?" Shannon smirked, and locked eyes on Lexi. Boone glared, and tried not to let her bait him, so he turned to stare out at the waves. "But that's what it really is isn't it? Playing? That's all it's _ever_ been with anyone who got close enough to you."

"Shannon, why don't you shut up and do something productive for a change?" Boone really hated this. "You know, instead of trying to bring down the peace we've created here, you could try to contribute to it for a change."

"Aw. Did I hit a sore spot? No one wants anything to do with innocent, virgin Boone." Boone smirked. 'She can't see everything through my eyes anymore. She's too scared of not surviving. She's too desperate.'

"Does that really matter right now, Shannon." He said calmly, but firmly. "The fact is, you're the one sitting on the beach, waiting for the impossible, living off of other people's generosity. And, guess what, Shannon." Boone smirked to himself. An almost 'Shannon' smirk.

"What?" Shannon seethed.

"You're the one who's sitting out here…alone."

Shannon's face contorted in a fit of rage. Her mouth opened a few times as if she was going to speak, but firmly shut it. She went to stand directly in front of Boone, and slapped him. "You have no right. If you weren't such a brat, he'd still be alive." She whispered harshly, glanced over Boone's shoulder, and spun on her heels to walk back the way she came.

Boone glared. "If he was alive, I'd be dead. I think I would have every right."

Boone turned around to see three people staring at him. One gaze he caught and kept. They stepped forward, and Boone let himself fall into Locke's arms as Sayid and Charlie gathered Lexi.

Boone pulled Locke down for a kiss, willing back the image of a drunken man and a frightened boy.

--tbc--


End file.
